


Starlight

by lordmauls



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic (Video Games)
Genre: Eventual Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:42:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27085780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lordmauls/pseuds/lordmauls
Summary: A series where I will explore the dynamic between Revan (Rex Starlighter) and Carth Onasi, starting from their dialogue in which he questions her on the reason for the Jedi Council leaning so heavily on her to do their job...
Relationships: Carth Onasi/Female Revan, Carth Onasi/Revan
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	Starlight

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there :) thanks so much for reading! I have recently been playing through KOTOR for the first time. One thing I love about Carth is that he finds the Jedi actions suspicious in relation to the player character, so I wanted to try my hand at writing some of the dialogue scenes between the two... and of course I ship them so this will also play into a romance eventually.
> 
> Disclaimer: a lot of the dialogue is lifted directly from the game, I add my own spin on things and tweak it where I need to but the majority is not my own.

So much has changed in such a short space of time. The attack on the fleet. Searching for Bastila on Taris. The _destruction_ of Taris… everything has been a non-stop, fast paced action sequence. Rex Starlighter feels as though she had been tossed into the plot of a strange holovid, and now she’s out the other end of it she doesn't know what to do with herself.

They landed on Dantooine two standard weeks ago, and since then life has been… calm. Too quiet. She should probably feel grateful after everything their ragtag crew has been through, but she feels quite the opposite. By standing still, Rex has time to think. To _feel_.

She really doesn’t want to feel.

The Jedi teach her that it is wrong to dwell on emotions. Letting go of any fear, anger or hatred is crucial should she remain in the Light… she wishes that it was so simple. But so much has changed, and all the emotions she has had to bottle up are threatening to spill over the longer she stays stationary on this peaceful farming planet. She craves the adrenaline-fuelled, fight-or-flight mindset she had been forced to endure on Taris. Back when there was little else to focus on other than surviving.

The Jedi-in-training has settled herself on a rocky perch overlooking the lake nearest to the temple. The double sunset spills shades of pinks and oranges across the clear sky and, even amongst her inner turmoil, Rex can appreciate the innate beauty of the outer rim planet. She has taken to sitting here every evening; stealing a moment for herself after days spent studying the Jedi arts. This is the only place she feels as though she can acknowledge her inner turmoil. Here, where the lapping water and brush of wheatgrass attempt to soothe her frazzled nerves.

Tonight is different, however. Whilst her crew typically leave her alone for these outings, she now feels Carth’s presence approaching in the force. It’s strange, learning to differentiate each beacon of light from the next. She has been with Carth longer than the others, though, so she is able to decipher his presence quicker than most. He’s very guarded. His inability to trust seeps into his very essence in a way that Rex doubts he is consciously aware of. This barricade of his has only gotten firmer during their time on Dantooine, and she suspects that this may be why he is making his way over now. 

Rex chooses to stay quiet as he descends the hillside. His boots crunch lightly against the dried soil, but his breaths remain even despite the hike one has to make to reach the water. He’s a soldier. She should have known that the trek wouldn’t deter someone as fit as himself. Rex feels his gaze on her, but she refuses to turn away from the water. He stands there for a moment, almost expectantly, until he huffs out a sigh and drops down to sit on the rock beside her.

Impatience begins to nip at Rex’s heels. He didn’t come out here to enjoy the sunset. No. She can feel his agitation. It has been building for days now; simmering until it’s forced him to seek her out. Away from the Temple. Stars, can he not just spit it out already?

“You’ve been very quiet lately,” she keeps the agitation out of her voice.

“Have I?” His tone is clouded with sarcasm. “I suppose I have. I guess I just don’t like being left out of the loop.”

Rex discards any notion of disinterest, snapping her head sideways to face him.

“I’m not the one leaving you out of the loop, Carth. You’d do well to remember that.”

“No?” His face reddens as his sneer becomes more pronounced. “Well, you certainly aren't helping matters any, either, and it's really starting to irritate me!”

“What do you want me to say?” Her pitch rises as her fingers dig into the dried dirt. Of course he is going to take his anger at the Jedi out on her. Of kriffing _course_ he is.

“I want to know what the Jedi Council has said to you. They pulled you in there and refused to tell me a thing about it! We’ve been here for _weeks_ whilst they’ve trained you. We’re at war, and I’m a soldier, but I feel like a spare part! I may not know much about the Jedi, but I do know they aren't famous for taking on old Padawans. None of it makes sense!”

Rex’s chest constricts as she lets him rant. His agitation blows like a grenade in the force, throwing out shrapnel of disdain and self-hate as he leaps from the rock and paces in front of her. 

She knows how he feels, and Rex wishes she could tell him all about her own feelings. She’s scared. She’s angry. She wants to be out there fighting the Sith as much as he does, but instead the Jedi want her to hone her skills so that they can send her out in search for some stupid, ancient maps. It’s ridiculous. They’re wanting to utilise their biggest asset, Bastila, by sending her on some odd treasure hunt when she should be out on the battlefront. 

“They said it’s important that I train.”

“And why is that? Why do we have to stick around for it? You were a great help on Taris, but why would they keep you with us? If it’s so important you train, why not just keep you here and send us off?”

Rex is unable to block this jab, finding herself taken by surprise. The landscape seems to lose some of its colour as she jumps to her feet, coughing against the sudden tightness in her throat. Out of every reason for his agitation - she had never factored her part in their mission into the equation. Ever since Taris they have been a _team._ She thought that they had formed a shared understanding. A connection. Maybe even a _friendship..._

“Well, I _thought_ we were all in this together. My apologies for becoming such a nuisance! You shouldn’t have bothered saving me on Taris if _this_ is how you feel!”

“Oh, stop it!” He growls, but she’s already storming back towards the temple. Carth scrambles up the banking after her, skidding slightly as some of the rocks give way. “Rex, that came out wrong - I only meant that the Jedi have encouraged you to stay with us, and I don't believe the reasons they gave.”

“Get a _hold_ of yourself!” She explodes, blinking against the threat of tears. “I am so sick of your paranoia!”

“You can be sick of whatever you like. What I'm sick of is being kept in the dark!”

"They want us to find the other Star Maps, okay!?” 

She was hoping that this news would shock him into pausing. That she would have enough time to capitalise on his surprise to put some more distance between them… But Carth speeds up as she does, and she can almost hear the cogs turn in his brain as he processes this information.

“So, you’re a neophyte Padawan who's been saddled with the responsibility of tracking down these Star Maps. Why? That's not normal! Rex, please. I'm not trying to provoke you or imply that you're somehow responsible for the Jedi Council… but give me a hand, here! There has to be a reason! Have you not considered it yourself?”

She knows she should keep her mouth shut. Just keep walking; but the careless tone he uses… the way he puts down her very presence as entirely unimportant. He almost barrels right into her as she turns on him, lips pulled into a snarl.

“Bastila and I have a bond. We have to do this together, okay? _You_ might find me insignificant, but _that’s_ why I’m still here. Why I have to be trained, and why you have no choice but to put up with me - though you’re more than free to find another Republic ship to join if I’m really this much of a problem to you!”

“No, I don't…” His eyes soften alongside his tone, “I didn't mean that you weren't wanted, or that I want to go! It's just… damn it! I just can’t wait around until I’m betrayed again!”

Rex shakes her head and lets out a quiet, bitter laugh.

“I have no reason to betray you. I am so _tired_ of this stupid hang-up. I’m _not_ Saul!”

“Look, I didn't mean it that way,” He rakes a hand through his hair, pausing to take a deep breath. “I want to get to Saul, not… no… no, forget it.” He turns in the direction of the temple, his voice full of regret. “It seems all I can do is insult you, isn't it? Just forget I said anything. Let's… let's… just drop it.”

“Go back,” Rex’s words are hard as durasteel as she turns towards the water. “Just leave me alone, Carth.”

She feels him watching her as she leaves him standing there, but she doesn’t bother trying to read his feelings again. To be frank, his outburst has left her exhausted. Rex has tried and tried breaking through his walls and gotten nowhere, but now she has secrets he acts as though it’s his absolute right to be kept in the know. Screw Carth Onasi. _Screw_ him. Screw him for making her care about him, and screw him for not caring about her in return.

She doesn’t let herself cry until she’s sat back on that perch, and Rex doesn’t leave until the sky has gone dark and glitters with stars.


End file.
